Category: shopping

Ralf Little does the voiceovers for Asda’s adverts where they say their prices are lower than Tesco’s. Every little helps? I think not.

I’ve always thought that parenting was in many ways similar to raising a dog. Which is why i’ve just left my toddler tied up outside Tesco while i do some shopping

Harry Potter fans: you can experience the authentic thrill of wearing an invisibility cloak and being completely undetectable by simply walking into any branch of Jessops and trying to get served.

A Leb entered an discount appliance store in Box Hill and said to the Asian salesman, “I want to buy that TV.” The Asian salesman said to him, “I don’t sell to Lebs.” Angry, the Leb left, determined to buy the TV. He waited three days, grew a beard, and then entered the store again. […]

How come every time Argos bring out a catalogue it has 5000 new items in it Yet the catalogue never gets any bigger?

What does DFS stand for? Daily Furniture Sale

I’m going to open a book store and make the mystery section really hard to find, and when people ask me if I have a mystery section I can say “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

Was shopping earlier when I noticed ‘Andrex: Puppies on a roll. That’s the last time I ever shop at the Asian supermarket!

Argos: The shop which has got everything in it, but you’re not allowed to see it.

I’d like to thank B&Q for being so helpful. I picked up a sander by mistake and they sounded an alarm warning me ‘this is not a drill’.

I bought a jacket from a charity shop. The only thing wrong with it was one sleeve was slightly longer than the other two!

Decided to try out one of these half marathons to get fit. So I went shopping with the wife.

“Hiya there, my boyfriend has sent me in to get an oil filter for his car?” “Ok no problem, what is it for?” “Ermm.. its for the dirty black one just outside?” “Ok, and what car has he got?”

You know you’re poor when you have to check the price tags in Primark.

I cashed in my life savings today, just so Christmas could be extra special… I had 42 quid on my Tesco club card.