Category: science

Science vs religion In Religion, Buddha sits under a tree for 49 days and then realized that starving himself was a bad idea. In Science, Isaac Newton sits under a tree for 49 seconds, an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Science definitely won that one.

The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.

Browsing a paleontology website today, one of the pages wouldn’t open. I think I’ve found a missing link.

Scientists have published an article saying that people judge potential mates primarily based on a healthy set of teeth. Obviously never watched an episode of Jeremy Kyle then…

I’ve just sent my mate a carbon copy of an e-mail. It took him a half-life to open it.

Schrodinger asked me to look after his cat while he was out of town. But I don’t know if I did a good job, I don’t even know whether or not his cat is still alive.

My tedious mate won’t shut up about a Group 13 metalloid with atomic number 5. Bore on.

My biology teacher said to me “Can you write me a short essay on what would happen to somebody if they had their sudoriferous glands removed?” I said “Yeah, no sweat.”

I went to an archeologist’s party last night to celebrate the discovery of a caveman’s leg bone. It was quite a shindig.

I was bitterly disappointed yesterday when I found out the ‘super moon’ wasn’t a people protecting lunar rock wearing fluorescent spandex and a cape.

There’s incredible chemistry between me and my wife right now. She’s currently dissolving in an oil drum filled with hydrochloric acid.

the square root of 69 = lesbian.

In my physics exam today a question asked “What’s the unit of power?” I answered “Correct.”

What drink do physicists drink? Wife .

I was talking to a brown dwarf the other day. “You’re gonna be a star some day!” I said