Category: school

For anyone who doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about UCAS, just think of it as the student’s version a company similar to Royal Mail: they take your money and then fail to deliver on the day you really need it.

I was always taught to think on my feet. Which is why I could never sit exams.

Today, my history teacher asked, ‘What the most disgusting history you’ve observed Jimmy?’ Turns out my older brother’s web history wasn’t a suitable answer…

My school days were the happiest days of my life, which should give you some indication of the misery I’ve endured over the past twenty-five years.

Alphabetti Spaghetti taught me how to spell when I was a kid. My dad used to hit me over the head with the tin if I made a mistake in my homework.

Just did a series of multiple choice question tests….I got all a’s.

In the news today apparently 50% of England”s schools are not teaching mathematics well enough, Doesn”t sound that bad to me, still less than a quarter.

Would you send your son to a school run by someone who insisted on being called “Headmaster?”

All through school I tried to work out what made my teacher tick? Turns out it was correct answers.

My dad always told me rules are there to be broken. That is why I could never draw a straight line in school.

I was lucky enough to receive my education after the end of corporal punishment in schools. My teachers never even raised a finger to me. Mind you, I was at boarding school, so I got fisted a few times.

I was always the best at maths in school. Pretty much the bare minimum as a teacher.

Just had a maths lesson on means, medians, and modes. It was average…

My son had a charity non-uniform day at school yesterday. I thought I’d get him to emulate my look. I can’t believe the school frowned upon black steel toe capped boots, turned up jeans, a white vest and red braces.

I got 5 A*s for my A level results. Just kidding, I’m not Chinese.