Category: school

The standard of education in England is getting worse. Today my son came home from school and said “hey dad. I can spell the words HEAD and MASTER now. “That’s great son.” I replied. “How did you learn them words?” “They’re above my name on the sign on my office door.”

My mate is a part-time teacher, or teacher as it is known.

I remember at a parents evening, my head of year told my parents my future was going places. The asked: “Like what? Scientist? Teacher?” He replied: “No, he’s going to be a travel agent”.

I got an A on my English paper today. Well I think I did… I’m not sure whether the F, I and L make it better or worse

My son goes to school with a boy called Ryan O’Reilly. One day he came home and said, “Dad, you know Ryan O’Reilly? Well, his name is actually ‘Ryan…O…Reilly’!” “Uh, yeah,” I said. “What did you think it was?” “I’ve been calling him ‘Rhino’.”

I took the lockpicking A Level because I thought it would open many doors for me in later life.

How do you get loads of new bestfriends? Open a pack of gum.

How can you tell when the school kids are on holiday ? Because this site is now on a 6 week shut down !!!

Am I the only person who, when they finished their exams at school and the teacher said, “It feels great when you’re done doesn’t it?” who replied,”That’s exactly what you said to me last night, Miss”.

I love nothing more in life than sitting with the kids all day watching Spongebob. However, the education board has sent me a letter demanding an explanation.

My girfriend has decided to do a night school course on “How to become a more independent person.” She said “Maybe we could go together?” I think she may have missed the point.

BBC News: Exam board put foreign names in tests to avoid suspision of racism. Nasty gits, as if it isn’t hard enough already for dyslexic people to read the questions.

I fell asleep during Geography, only to be woken up by the teacher a couple of minutes later. “Hey, there, Sleeping Beauty!” she said sarcastically. “Why don’t you tell us where Flanders is?” Apparently, the answer “Right next to Homer, and now let me sleep, you stupid cow!” is only good for getting you a […]

I leave homework to the last day because I’ll be older and therefore wiser!

My Mate Always Got Bullied At School, Can’t Be Easy When You Have The Name Paul Skinback.