I’ll get your coat, you’v …
I’ll get your coat, you’ve pulled a gentleman.
Continue ReadingI’ll get your coat, you’ve pulled a gentleman.
Continue ReadingI went to a zoo recently and was horrified that the creatures on show were treated no better than animals
Continue ReadingAfter my trip to Spain I can safely say I’m now a member of the mile high club. On a short trip from one town to another, I hot boxed the tram.
Continue ReadingMuslim life is like a bowl of cherries. Pop them, then stone them. Ayatollah.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend of two years dumped me yesterday, said I had too many paranoias and it was strangling the relationship, I was all too often scared to go to the shop and perform menial tasks. My mate tried to console me, told me there were plenty more fish in the sea. No good to me, […]
Continue ReadingWhere does the bad light end up?
Continue ReadingThey say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but my hand on your birds bush is worth two black eyes.
Continue ReadingWhen God closes a door, he opens a window, which explains how the robbers gained entry.
Continue ReadingI’ve just asked the wife what she wants for her birthday tomorrow and she replied, “To not have any more birthdays!” Her present’s going to be murder!
Continue ReadingThe hand is quicker than the eye. Unfortunately, the CCTV camera at my nearest primary school’s gates is quicker than both.
Continue ReadingI think this girl at work has a thing for me. A restraining order.
Continue ReadingPostmen always go that extra mile. Which explains why the mail never arrives on time.
Continue ReadingIf you’re having trouble at sea and need the coast guard its best not to mention you tried calling the AA before them. They haven’t quite got over that slogan.
Continue ReadingI’ve certainly got my eye on the ball… Last time I go to an orgy in a telephone box.
Continue ReadingI like to put thumb tacks on the heels of my wife’s shoes. Just to keep her on her toes.
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