A lot of people say that …
A lot of people say that I’m full of trite clichs. I don’t care. As long as I keep believing in myself, anything is possible.
Continue ReadingA lot of people say that I’m full of trite clichs. I don’t care. As long as I keep believing in myself, anything is possible.
Continue ReadingWhen I was growing up my parents were great fans of metaphors and sayings. Times have changed, Maybe they need some adjusting. Too many cooks make t.v shows A problem shared is a facebook update More haste less speed earns a poor wage on piece-work The MP5 is mightier than the pen and the sword […]
Continue ReadingI have to say, hand on my heart, that I’m completely surprised that the doctor didn’t sew me back up after the operation.
Continue ReadingI’ve been making a perfume laced with methamphetamine. Speed is of the essence.
Continue ReadingMy sister always dreamt of the day when she’d be whisked off her feet. Though she screamed when she fell into the vat at the meringue factory.
Continue Reading‘They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now’
Continue ReadingMy mate used to be bad tempered about everything until I hit him with a spade one day. Now he’s quite level-headed.
Continue ReadingI’ve just treated my wife to a new vibrator. I’m going soft in my old age.
Continue ReadingIf you were to lose your left arm your right one would be left.
Continue ReadingMy father always said honesty is the best policy. Would explain why he lost his life savings playing poker.
Continue ReadingCuriosity killed the cat. And my best friend. I should’ve thought of a better name for my alligator.
Continue ReadingI’m a man of strong moral principles, and always say that violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer is yes.
Continue Reading`That is the last straw or I’ve found a needle in a haystack.’
Continue Readingpaedophilia. talk about swings and roundabouts.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s been around the block a few times. I cut the brake pipes on her car last night.
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