Category: sayings

A lot of people say that I’m full of trite clichs. I don’t care. As long as I keep believing in myself, anything is possible.

When I was growing up my parents were great fans of metaphors and sayings. Times have changed, Maybe they need some adjusting. Too many cooks make t.v shows A problem shared is a facebook update More haste less speed earns a poor wage on piece-work The MP5 is mightier than the pen and the sword […]

I have to say, hand on my heart, that I’m completely surprised that the doctor didn’t sew me back up after the operation.

I’ve been making a perfume laced with methamphetamine. Speed is of the essence.

My sister always dreamt of the day when she’d be whisked off her feet. Though she screamed when she fell into the vat at the meringue factory.

‘They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now’

My mate used to be bad tempered about everything until I hit him with a spade one day. Now he’s quite level-headed.

I’ve just treated my wife to a new vibrator. I’m going soft in my old age.

If you were to lose your left arm your right one would be left.

My father always said honesty is the best policy. Would explain why he lost his life savings playing poker.

Curiosity killed the cat. And my best friend. I should’ve thought of a better name for my alligator.

I’m a man of strong moral principles, and always say that violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer is yes.

`That is the last straw or I’ve found a needle in a haystack.’

paedophilia. talk about swings and roundabouts.

My wife’s been around the block a few times. I cut the brake pipes on her car last night.