Category: sayings

I was looking everywhere for my FIFA 10 and eventually found it at the back of my TV cabinet. It was above and beyond the Call of Duty.

My Uncle always told me the secret to a happy life was to eat like a King and make love like a Queen…of course that was before aids came into the picture.

If I had a pound for every time I got a hole in one of my socks, I’d walk around with no shoes on.

How do i stop an addiction to cold turkey?

Thought: Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

I went to visit Ryan Giggs at his country retreat last week. As I was pulling into his drive I caught a glimpse of his horse as it flashed past my car, sprinting away from the stable at top speed. I ran to the door and shouted, “Come quickly Ryan, we’d better go and catch […]

I was on my way into work and a mate gave me a lift. No use to me, I live in a bungalow.

Funeral processions. Hats off to ’em.

Singing Lessons….40 Pink Dress….80 Hotel for the night….110 Taxi to studio….15 The look on her face when Ant says ‘we don’t have time to do it again’ PRICELESS! There’s some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s Hollie Steel.

I hate it when people make up random sayings to sound interesting and different, I mean whats the point? Might as well chuck a donkey on the bonfire!

Whatever about trying to find a needle in a haystack, try finding a piece of hay in a stack of needles

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

I took a trip to the Black Sea recently and it was awful, what a waste of money. Now I finally understand the phrase “Once you go Black, you never go back.”

Give an underprivileged man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. give the man a fishing rod he’ll get splinters in his mouth.

As I pointed the gun at the baby, I decided to add to the dramatic atmosphere. I said, “Any first words?”