Category: sarcasm

My girlfriend asked me what I thought we should use as a contraceptive. Apparently her being naked isn’t one.

The parents of Jonathan Cooke have described him as ‘our little Indiana Jones’….funny, I don’t remember Indiana Jones being killed with an air rifle.

Thought of the day: If France had a civil war, which side would surrender first?

Apparently 25 million people in Britain watched the royal wedding,the other 40 million were worshipping in mosques………………………

Robin hood. What a legend.

I can’t believe how long its taking for the ‘geniuses’ at Gillette to bring out a new razor with six blades!

The Flamethrower. Because at some point in time one man stood before another man and thought ‘You know, I’m just not close enough set him on fire.’

I love it when people say ‘I love it when…’ even though they don’t.

No new jokes in the last half hour, what happened, did someone cure death?

Something strange just happened to me when I tried to post a joke…there was something wrong with the duplicator checker; It Worked!

TVGUIDE: 10pm tonight, The Inbetweeners.. Channel: Facebook

I just saw a Facebook group called “Glasgows finest.” Apparently, even our finest don’t have a firm grasp of proper punctuation.

I was upset last night after my wife had a real go at me for using too much sarcasm. I feel better now though, the five hour drive to work in the snow this morning really cheered me up.

I’m just logging on to facebook to see who’s ill and who’s kids are ill.

“Jersey the hottest part of the british isles”, isnt that a bit like claiming to be the best striker in the Heskey family.