Category: puns

I just mastered the art of humility and I’m proud of it.

I became a member of the Secret Seven. It was so secret, I didn’t know who the other six were.

I let milk get away with so much. Im lactose tolerant.

My mate made a bet with me that I couldn’t make a joke about a flower. But I rose to the challenge.

I used to go out with a vocal coach, but it was always me me me me meeeee with her

Why is milk fast? Because it’s pasteurised before you see it.

Vids aren’t the best way to advertise animated movies. Pixar

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one […]

My girlfriend wanted perfume & jewellery for her birthday but I got her a chocolate egg & a toy instead. She was kinder surprised.

There was a man wearing a rosette walking round the town centre today with a big sign saying “Now is the time for change”. He looked like a right cheeky beggar.

I was watching the first pilot episode of the Simpsons the other day, And i couldn’t help but think that they used to be a right bunch of sketchy characters.

I took a photo of the thing I use to play my guitar. It was a lovely pic.

My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.

I was playing chess with my mate earlier when he moved his Castle right in the path of my Queen. Bit of a Rookie error.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.