Category: puns

I used to be a huge fan of Robocop and now I’ve just been fitted with a robotic leg. Oh the iron knee.

I’ve just invented a joke about helium, unfortunately it doesn’t go down very well..

You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but I’m a big liar.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

I took my daughter out last night. One slide tackle and she was down.

Whats Mr T’s favorite rock band? The Foo Fighters….

Anybody else hear about that Italian waiter working on the Costa Concordia? He had been praying for a big tip.

When you think about it, “Don’t let anyone tell you what to do” is impossible advice to follow.

Me and my mate are going to drive across the southern states of America, just to see how long it Texas.

If people hate them so much then how come every time I go into the pet store they’re always sold out of peeves?

I used to work as a refuse collector…. It was a load of rubbish though really…

My local museum is trying to raise money by setting up a dinosaur fossil display. How will it work? Remains to be seen

My wife said that we needed to have a long and hard talk over our marriage. Apparently slapping her across the face with my erection wasn’t the long and hard matter she was talking about.

Why did the mathematician get dumped? Cos he was obsessed with his X

I have a crush on my local green grocer She has a great pear. I might ask her for a date.