Category: puns

Earlier, I ate a load of photons It was a light lunch

I have a genius fish. So smart, in fact, that he has been allowed to join a local high school. That was until recently when he took Debate.

Whats a blind persons favorite liquor? Brailleys.

I was driving down the road when I ran over some hummus. A little further on, I hit taramasalata. Then I saw a road sign: ‘Caution – dips in road’

If you dont shake properly after going to the toilet, then urine trouble

The last 10 fancy dress parties I’ve been to I’ve gone as a shark The joke is wearing fin

I don’t mind trigonometry problems. Normally only takes me a few secs.

I hate my internet provider. It may be Virgin, but it keeps going down on me.

I arrived home from the hospital this morning to inform my wife of the disturbing news that I had been diagnosed with a highly malignant and ultimately fatal type of blood cancer. Like a woman possessed, she forced me onto the couch, tearing at my clothes and straddled me, making earthmoving, rampant love to me […]

What do you call a black man after plastic surgery? A re-formed criminal

Whenever I find a pretty girl I look for intelligence. Because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine!

Just got sacked from my job today. I didn’t realise that they actually packed fudge in boxes.

I had to cancel my trip to Germany due to my crippling fear of sausages. It’s the wurst.

I always pull fat women and they all seem to say the same thing. “Stop pulling me”

‘Schools waste millions’. It’s about time we had a population cull.