Category: puns

My Daughter said she had to do a study on a meteor shower – The school didnt take kindly to a video of me showering with a Peperami

Free puppetry lesson. There’s strings attached.

I walked past a measuring jug earlier which said ‘150 centimetres cubed!’ I think it speaks volumes.

My wife was stressed out earlier, so I decapitated her. Hope that took the weight off her shoulders

I’m going on a rampage at the deed poll office tomorrow. I’ll definitely be making a name for myself!

My grandma said to me the other day “what would i do without my soaps?” You would smell, grandma.

An extra chromosome always gets me downs 🙁

I think David Haye needs to fight one of the Klitschko brothers for the good of boxing Its Vitali important

I can’t believe the undemocratic EU will only allow power-saving lightbulbs to be sold. I’m incandescent!.

I just got a job in advertising. They’ve have asked me to sell protractors but im not sure what angle i should take.

A friend of mine is studying Third World Development. Surely there can’t be much money in it?

I’ve recently been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy… I’m here all weak.

It was only after I had jumped out the plane without a parachute that I realised the gravity of the situation.

I’m officially the fastest Royal Mail thief in the country. I’ve held the post for the past three years running.

Do deaf mathematicians speak in sine language?