Category: puns

I had a gravy production company but it failed because no one bought our stock.

I just saw some guys in white robes and hoods hanging B.A. Baracus. I love it when a klan comes together.

What do you call a Paki with Parkinson’s? A sheikh.

The Grand Canyon is just gorges.

I’ve just seen a bunch of Mexicans packed into a tiny Ford playing the macarana and eating tortillas. I think it was a Fiesta.

Saw this Cushion that looking amazingly comfy so I jumped head first into it … Woke up 3 days later. Turns out it was a con-cushion

After eating out at a local restaurant, the waitress clearing our tables noticed the left-overs and said, “You wanna box for that?”. I said, “No, but we could wrestle for it”.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I hate all races, Apart from English and the 100m hurdles

I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back.

I’m a born again member of the reincarnation society

Whenever I drive very quickly, my girlfriend says “It’s not a race” If it’s not a race, then how was I disqualified?

My son made it through a blood transfusion so I bought him a 50″ HDTV. He loves his new plasma.

I got lost trying to sail round the coast of Alaska. I couldn’t have had the Bering Strait.

I resented filling in that government survey so much that I went down to my local MP’s office and broke his kneecaps. In hindsight, it was just census violence.