Category: puns

Let’s bring this discussion to a close. I’ve been to the edge of the universe, and that’s the end of the matter.

I love putting hyenas in old beer kegs. It’s a barrel of laughs.

I paid 10 to see an opera show last night and about five minutes into it one of the performers dropped down dead. So that was a waste of a tenor.

If Concorde travelled at twice the speed of sound, how did they speak to air-traffic control?

BBC News: “A food production company was ordered to pay nearly 17,000 after a man found a dead mouse in a loaf of bread as he made sandwiches for his children.” That’s brilliant. The best thing since miced bread.

I tried to buy a rowing machine today. But apparently Steve Redgrave is not for sale

IN THE NEWS Snooker ace arested on murder charges! I think somones trying to frame him

Looks like Keith Floyd had a long standing heart problem Apparently it had been simmering for some time.

I hit my mate up the face with a multimeter today. Ohm’d!

I’ve just beaten up a pair of odd socks. They were no match for me.

“My bones are very brittle!” My wife snapped.

I should have been sad when the batteries in my flashlight died, but I was delighted.

Saw a mental guy on a bike the other day. He was a cycle-path!

I wasn’t good when I ate out my virgin girlfriend for the first time. Luckily I got a second bite of the cherry

I have prepared a presentation on global warming. It’s not that bad but it won’t exactly set the world on fire.