Category: puns

Nails are one thing you don’t want to screw with.

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had not a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge […]

Since I have been writing all my sickipedia jokes on toilet paper none of them have got buried. Must be on a roll.

I’m currently reading a book about North African invaders during Medieval times and can’t put it down. Its very moorish.

My 5yr old son was expelled from school for race crime……he used blu tac on his egg and spoon.

My mate bought a solid gold hi-hat for his drum kit. He regards it as a status cymbal.

My son lost a tooth last night so I gave him a pound. Then he lost some more.

It’s a little known fact that women have more hair than men… On the whole.

My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That’s a bit far-fetched.

I said to my Chinese mate “I saw the most beautiful woman when I was in the United Arab Emirates” He said “Dubai?” I said “nah, she was too expensive.”

I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

I went to school in a wendy house… I found it hard to fit in

Last week, Whilst doing my job as a change dispenser Technician, i was stuck trying to think ways to remove a jammed coin. But then the penny dropped.

My Mum had tried killing me when she was hoovering… She kept screaming Dyson! Dyson! Dyson!

Personally, I find there’s nothing better than slipping into a hot tub – but not everyone finds big women as attractive as I do.