Category: puns

I’ve been told the best way to sink a cruise liner is to crash into it. And thats just the tip of the iceberg

Westlife singer Shane Filan has been declared bankrupt in the UK. Filan for bankruptcy.

I was walking home the other day when a middle eastern market popped up at the side of the road. I thought, “how bazaar.”

My grandad got kicked out of his bowls club He said plates are better

Had a fight with a Pole at work today…. The other lad had a stick.

My wife says she’s leaving me because i’m too skeptical….. She won’t though…

After my daughter was caught shoplifting, I put her on the straight and narrow. She’s getting pretty good at tightrope walking now.

I gave my wife a puzzled look earlier… Cut her into 1000 tiny pieces.

I am trying to invent a board of some description which could be used to rest upon whilst somebody was drawing. Seem to have hit loads of problems though and I’m getting nowhere. Oh well, back to the I don’t know what.

‘Im a baker in the marines, and when i go to war, i go in buns a glazing’. To find out more visit armyjobs.mod.uk

Went to the zoo the other day Some cuddly black and white bears in stockings were going berserk It was sheer pandemonium.

I loaned my mate Office 2007, but he wanted it kept a secret. He has my Word.

I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box and it failed miserably. It doesn’t surprise me.

I just took my new range of protective headgear for ducks on Dragon’s Den Theo knocked me back. He said it wouldn’t cover the bills.

Superman is taking a midnight stroll past a church when a priest runs down the steps. “Superman, Can you help me move some old coffins up some stairs”? he asks. “Are you crazy”? shouts Superman. “I can’t go in the crypt tonight”!