Category: professions

Police have stated their concern about the amount of farmers who are taking up heroin use. The problem is, trying to find the evidence is like…..

Why do the police hate protesters? Because they’re revolting.

I went to see the doctor today for a check up. I nearly had a heart attack when he said my aorta was 95 percent blocked with cholesterol.

Apparently the police are going to fight these government cuts. Well if they treat the cuts like an innocent bystander at a protest, Government cuts beware.

A car was pulled over for speeding on a main road, and the policeman went up to the driver’s window. The policeman said, “I’ve been waiting for this all day.” So the driver said, “Well I got here as fast as I could!”

Why are all T.V. chefs angry? Because they have a girls job.

Bored? Lonely? Depressed? No friends? Become a police community support officer

Ive just been told off by the tie police, They’re knot happy

The Crimewatch wall of shame, or as I call it: The Blackboard

Phew, that was a close one. I’ve just been through the mill with the police enquiry into how I arrested that guy with Cerebal Palsy. Sometimes film footage can work for and against you … But as I told them, he’s clearly trying to take a bite out of my steel toecaps.

I was going to sue my Neurosurgeon until he changed my mind

A manager and two members of his staff, an engineer and a programmer, are in a car. Its brakes fail, and it nearly goes out of control. Fortunately, they are able to stop it without causing an accident. They all get out, and the engineer says “I’ll repair the brakes.” The manager says “No, I’ll […]

I’m the kind of guy people tell their children to not get involved with. The police

The police are after me, they need a new guitarist.

What’s the difference between a chef and a council-worker? The chef would get sacked if he didn’t order enough salt.