I took a blind girl to th …
I took a blind girl to the cinema last night. She’s probably still there now.
Continue ReadingI took a blind girl to the cinema last night. She’s probably still there now.
Continue ReadingMy wife has really long hair; she combs it every hour and goes to the hairdressers twice a week. So I bought her a shaving kit.
Continue ReadingThere are some benefits to living on a council estate.
Continue ReadingI felt awful after hearing my ex girlfriend had been killed in a horrific car accident. I might never get my Rocky V dvd back.
Continue ReadingI arranged a pessimists meeting today, It wasn’t a great turn out, the room was half empty.
Continue ReadingMy friend thought it was funny to put jam in my hat as a prank. I felt the need to get him back so I put super glue in his boxers and laxatives in his cereal.
Continue ReadingI was in the garden earlier when I pointed over to our neighbours garden and said to my wife; “Look at those fat red tomatoes!” She didn’t appreciate how rudely I was referring to Mr and Mrs Grant.
Continue ReadingSCIENCE FACT: The Richter Scale was named after its inventor. Ian Scale.
Continue ReadingI’m not stuck up- some of my best friends are lower-middle!
Continue ReadingI always find people are more generous when they don’t know they’re giving.
Continue ReadingWhy can’t Oedipus play Scrabble with his family? He always stares at his mum’s rack.
Continue ReadingWhat is a fat person’s favourite number? 3.142
Continue ReadingBit disappointed that my Amish online dating site hasn’t taken off yet.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got sacked from my latest job as a teacher today, didn’t even last a day Apparently, Physical Education isn’t what I thought it was.
Continue ReadingThe App ‘Temple Run’ is just like the real world Monkeys chasing a white man for his coins
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