Category: one liner

I used to be excellent at foreplay, but since developing arthritis I’ve lost my touch.

My native American telecoms company went up in smoke.

Just watched a movie called ‘The Vice’. It was gripping stuff.

Anyone who says they don’t make fun of a muslim’s eating habits are telling Porkies.

We have so much in common. You want to travel . . . I want you to go . . .

I lost my job at lastminute.com for being persistently late.

Half a dozen Because “six” is way too long.

Due to heavy rainfall last night, there is now a leek in my Greenhouse.

So, if you have a Local Area Network in Australia, is that the LAN down under.

My time machine and I go way back

So let me get this right. I can start prowling the park an hour earlier this evening?

I just bought a 750ml bottle of Domestos lemon but it just tastes like normal Domestos to me

My mum’s ran off with a black man! It’s Linford Christie. She’ll never keep up.

Newquay, coming down hard on underage drinkers since 2009.

I couldn’t be a pessimist if I tried.