Category: one liner

Looks like the Sheikh isn’t the only man to who can throw money at the Man City team this season.

I love oxymorons, but I despise contradictory statements.

I saw a balloon having an argument with some muslims today, It was almost like it wanted to get blown up

A recent survey revealed that 72% of people think that Serena is better looking than Venus Williams. I think they’re both good looking fella’s.

Dont drink and drive, take LSD and teleport

What’s a woman’s favourite element? Iron.

Sickipedia: Supplying Zoo Magazine with jokes every week.

Jessie J: “Its not about the money money money, we don’t need your money money money” Is that why it costs 99p to download, Jessie?

I had a joke criticising Joseph Stalin’s leadership, but it got purged.

Has anyone else noticed the benefit of a coughing fit whilst taking a dump?

Here’s a joke for all the mind readers out there…

Why is there no mouse flavoured cat food?

If crime doesn’t pay how come the police get wages?

My wife’s been searching everywhere for her Christmas presents, she’ll never find them… They’re in the cleaning cupboard.

Surely, if you’re an Iraqi, you’ve learnt not to do your shopping at the outdoor market by now?