Category: one liner

If there are any guitarists here who want to know the secret to making their instrument sound better, stay tuned.

I keep seeing the word paranoid everywhere

Is there a way to say “I’m flashing this light just for the sake of it” in morse code?

The download speed of my Sky broadband service is so slow, that if it gets any slower, it will start uploading

When women say “I’m not talking to you”, what exactly are they doing then?

I’m in two minds whether to believe my diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Dont you think people these days look older, compared to say 10 years ago……….

How Long is a china man.

We were that poor when we were young that we went into KFC to lick peoples fingers.

Grandad died yesterday. he fell to his death cleaning the Clock Face of Big Ben. It was Six Thirty , he had nothing to hang on to.

Fox News: Basil Brush has moved house.

My girl is like a torrent…she goes down loads.

I haven’t seen my local Vicar for weeks. I think i might report him to the Missing Parsons Bureau.

I find the best way to grow old is to start young.

Religion is like the male nipple: it has survived years of human evolution despite having no useful purpose.