Category: one liner

People’s choice of pet says a lot about them, especially parrots.

Seeing London is easy on the Eye.

What do Sikh people say when they finish getting dressed? Thats a wrap

Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

Quiche… I’m not a flan.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

I bought a book the other day called “Do things for you, make friends that aren’t looking for somebody to take advantage of”. It was really expensive but apparently it’s very good, can’t wait till my mate finishes reading it.

my friends call me mr uncertaincy, but im not so sure about that.

Did you know, the average person has one fallopian tube.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

My mum doesn’t see the irony in saying ‘Your mum’ to me as an insult.

Has anyone else started burying any joke with the words ‘Gary Coleman’ in without even bothering to read them now?

I just bought half an ounce of the finest herb from a rapper I know. It was lethal basil.

I give up being a defeatist.

BBC News headline: Working mothers’ children “less fit”. Isn’t attractiveness subjective?