Category: one liner

Guns dont kill people- but gaping holes in vital internal organs do…

My nan still thinks it was a giant tiramisu that killed hundreds in Samoa. Bless her!

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Just got my npower championship razor Unfortunately it didn’t come with any Blades

Just come back off holiday from Manama. The weather was strange , we had sunshine, snow, frost, fog, and hailstones. In fact we had everything Bahrain.

“You’re very possessive,” I said, through the vicar.

I don’t really attack people. I’m all stalk and no action.

My friend was digging up his garden when he found a gold coin in a lump of earth….. Lucky Sod.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

When a person with a bad limp gets drunk, do they walk normal?

Tennis is like riding a bike. If you hit a car then you know something has gone wrong.

Right then, let’s see how the U.K do against Germany without the US interfering and claiming credit this time

You know your going bald when you use more toothpaste than you do shampoo.

Food fetishists are coming for dinner tonight.

I rate myself 9.84520137453850162 out of 10 for precision.