Category: one liner

I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ!

I tease about drugs a lot, but in reality I take them seriously.

I’m probably the type of person that can’t make up their mind.

November 10th, 2009. The day the world sat still screaming at the tele.

If I had a pound for every time I lost count of something, I’d have…

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Sign language: it’s very handy

Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.

Chris brown had the right idea. Driving a lamborghini is awesome

As a means of capital punishment the guillotine divides a lot of people.

Police have arrested six pregnant chav`s and charged them for growing their own dope.

I don’t like to brag, but I’m an excellent gloater.

“I hate people who follow trends” I said to my hair salon whilst having my hair dyed red.

‘You’ve got to be in it to win it’ Im beginning to think there’s more to it than that.

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a desert? Tired feet.