Category: one liner

I may not go down in history, but I will definitely go down on your little sister.

I need you like JFK needed a roof on his car…

I like to watch Crimewatch its cheaper than Friends Reunited

doctor doctor, birds keep trying to build nests in my hair! Have you been on the mephedrone again?

It’s shocking how people can mock the death of a child, truly shocking.

I was always going to be a determinist…

My wife said she was leaving me because I don’t listen Or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention

Never judge a book by its movie.

Statistically…more planes take off from runways than land on them.

I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

The in my keyboard doesn’t work that well

Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children

A bloke goes into the butchers and says, ”Excuse me mate. Have you got a pig’s head?” The butcher replies, ”No. I was blown up in the Falklands.”

Its comforting to know, that even if the entire world hates you, sickipedia will love you for it.