Category: one liner

I went to a pantomime the other day. Bring your own boos

Looking at the two finalists in the masters snooker, reminds me of the sound my microwave makes.

I don’t get jokes about Botox, a bit high brow for me.

If there’s one thing you should know about me It’s that I like people to know one thing about me.

Dead women never say no…..

When asked who their favourite Rice Krispie character is, most people make a Snap decision.

Anyone else find it ironic that it’s Hans Christian rsted’s birthday.

Condoms should be used in all conceivable occasions.

I’ve forgotten more than most people know about amnesia.

Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

Do you know that my wife talks so much that when she goes on holiday she has to put suncream on her tongue!

Who else knows when they’ve been beaten? Then gets up and wipes.

It seems waiting in line is the theme at most theme parks

I watched a debate on youtube through broken headphones. It was very one sided.