Category: money

Why do banks only lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it?

You know why 20 notes are always so clean? Because poor people don’t touch them.

HSBC have told me that any payments into my account are going to take a few extra days to clear this week because of the jubilee bank holiday. Which is weird really, because when I called their processing centre in Kuala Lumpur, none of the workers had been told to take a couple of days […]

I taught my mate how to win a coin toss the other day, Gave him the heads-up

Today I was in a really happy mood. I decided to go on my casual stroll around my area, you know? Breathe in the fresh air. But then I came across a tramp. “Please Sir, can I have some money? My bank account has been hacked into and I’ve lost my house, car, bed and […]

I’m one of those people who has the amazing talent of being able to shake my wallet and know exactly how much money is in it. Because it’s empty.

15.99 for a T-Shirt? Now there’s a joke.

A wife of 40 should be like money. You should be able to change her for two of 20.

Woke up this morning and caught my Jewish room mate checking under his bed to see if he’d lost any sleep.

I’ve decided to adopt a jaguar for two pounds a month. Poor dad can’t keep up with the rising fuel prices.

I’ve just found a fantastic new way of saving money. I’ve killed my wife !