Category: money

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

I saw a black guy drop a 10 note in the street. I picked it up and after little consideration of whether to return it to him I realised that it was never his in the first place!

I was drunk at the casino last night and completely cleared out my bank account. I was so gutted the next morning because I know I could have spent that ten pounds elsewhere.

Robin Hood wouldn’t last five minutes in Nottingham nowadays. There’s no rich people to steal from.

My wife said “You have no concept of the value of money”‘. “I’ll bet you a million quid that I do” I replied.

How comes, when you have a girlfriend all they want is your wood. But when you get married, all they want is your paper?

Whoever says, “Money doesn’t bring you happiness” can give me some.

Don’t get me started on Child Support. No really, don’t get me started, I’ve never made a payment.

I recently inherited 10,000 so I took the whole lot into town and blew it at the nearest casino. Or Barclays, as they like to call themselves.

Gold. Worth its weight in gold.

If I had a pound for every brain cell Dappy has, I’d be in debt.

The McCanns have stated that of the 2 million pound “find maddie fund” only 300,000 remains, that’s more than enough to find Maddie. 57pp return flights with airflights.co.uk spades, 2 of, 14.96. Total 128.96 Sorted.

I tried to pay for some stuff in a Liverpudlian newsagents with a twenty pound note. The cashier said, “Sorry, we don’t accept foreign currency.”

The best way to make somebody remember you, borrow money from them.

I’ve decided to invest in helium. It’s the one investment that always goes up.