Typical. It’s Jubilee we …
Typical. It’s Jubilee weekend and there’s no sign of the reign ending.
Continue ReadingTypical. It’s Jubilee weekend and there’s no sign of the reign ending.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has just texted both our names to 58888 and she says we’re only 78% compatible. I said, “Hang on. You’ve just paid 3.50 to be sent a random percentage, …and you still think we are in any way compatible?”
Continue ReadingAt the job seeker’s interview: “What job would you really like to do?” “I have always wanted to be a lollipop man.” “Oh. I’m afraid that is for retired people.” “Not to worry, I can wait.”
Continue ReadingSo doctors want to ban smoking in cars… What about if we smoke handsfree?
Continue ReadingThis begging in the 21st century is getting ridiculous. Kid came up to me today with an electric cigarette & said “Got a spare battery mate?”
Continue ReadingOf course it’s fun working in a shoe shop … … but behind the glittering, glamorous facade it’s just the same as any other form of slow death.
Continue ReadingNot saying lawyers nowadays are parasites or anything, but I saw one at the fairground yesterday, handing out whiplash claim forms to people getting off the dodgems.
Continue Reading“And yea verily”, God declared, as was his usual manner of speech. “Unto the shops, the males may descend, as it be the eve of Christmas, to venture forth and purchase vast array of unwanted gifts for their Female spouse.” And descend they did, with the dole burning a hole in their pockets, and this […]
Continue ReadingThey say music is the language of spirits. So, next time your bank keeps you hanging on the phone, they’re probably taking you for a medium.
Continue ReadingI think Tampax should change their slogan to “From our box, to yours”.
Continue ReadingI’d been with my girlfriend for around 3 years, when I finally popped the question. Why are we still together?
Continue ReadingPeople say I’m childish – so what, at the end of the day my dad will still batter their dad.
Continue ReadingBring back hanging before another tragedy hits home. Get rid of her timesaving tumble drier and make your woman peg clothes on the washing line.
Continue ReadingI hate tele-sales people, they always find new ways to annoy you. For instance, this week i’ve been getting loads of calls from a bunch of them just gargling water down the phone at me… Must be an ‘in’ joke i suppose.
Continue ReadingMy wife said I’m acting like a woman lately,I didn’t react to her i just gave her the silent treatment and continued to put on my make up.
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