Category: modern life

No, I think you’ll find Wikipedia copied MY coursework.

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other up, and both realise they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted. Rear toilet? he suggests. Five minutes, she agrees, and goes off. He waits […]

I’ve often wondered if the world will be inhabitable in 3039 years time. I think it’ll be 5050.

I decided that I needed to do something to get me out of the house. So I became a tramp.

Can’t wait to tell my girlfriend that despite what she keeps telling me, it turns out I can do more than one thing at a time. One was blonde and the other a brunette.

I’m not saying that my Mum is set in her ways, but when I got her hooked up to the internet the first thing she looked up was teletext.

Was watching the adverts for piranha 3d. It said” there is something in the water”. thought to myself,must be all the paki’s after the floods

Saw a crying kid in the street, so I asked him what was wrong. He said “I’m lost!” I asked “Do you know your address?” He replied “timmy@bt.co.uk”

Studies showed that Mac users are more environmentally friendly than Windows users. So why does the Mac have a rubbish bin and Windows has a recycling bin?

I was so angry when my Blackerry stopped working today I was gonna start a riot! But then I remembered I had a Blackberry, so i couldn’t

My girlfriend bought a new toaster from argos last week. It wasn’t working when she got home so she decided to ring the customer helpline. The guy who answered the phone asked her for the barcode so he could see the product details. ‘no problem’ she said ‘thin line, thin line, thick line…’

They say that being on the tube at rush hour is like being in a giant tin of sardines. Personally i’ve never had my wallet nicked by a sardine…

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house quicker than the police.

My partner never moans at me for leaving the toilet seat up. I love Steve.

While walking past the cinema I discovered that the only reason the lines for Twilight are so long is that they consist of nothing but fat girls.