Category: misunderstanding

It takes three days to walk from my house to Torquay, but thats what my son said he wanted for his birthday. On reflection, he may have said walkie talkie…. Either way, I dont see him much anymore.

My mum asked me why i was washing my dads brother, Ian in the bath. What she actually said was “go and wash, you’re unclean”

Somebody once asked me what my favourite house tune is. “Probably the one by Madness”, I replied.

My nan has always said that she loves those shoes they wear in Amsterdam, so as a surprise for her birthday I’ve got her some. I can’t wait to see her in her clear heels.

I was chatting to a girl at the bar I bragged, “I should have been going to the Olympics in London this year if it wasn’t for injury.” “Wow!” She said surprised, “what have you done?” “I’ve pulled a muscle in my back” I replied, “Been off work for weeks and can’t afford my ticket.”

My wife came home last night with some news. She said, “Well firstly, I’ve managed to get a part in the egyptian play I’ve auditioned for.” “Well done!” I beamed, “You must be so happy.” “I certainly am,” she smiled, “Even more so that I found out I’m going to be a mummy.” “Oh, don’t […]