Jeopardy: A: Rabbi’s Q: …
Jeopardy: A: Rabbi’s Q: Something you get from a Jewish dog, foaming at the mouth?
Continue ReadingJeopardy: A: Rabbi’s Q: Something you get from a Jewish dog, foaming at the mouth?
Continue ReadingA friend asked, “What’s the best thing you’ve ever seen on tv?” I said, “Faulty Towers.” “Ha ha ha” He laughed, “That was funny, They weren’t faulty though. Some Muslims flew planes into them.”
Continue ReadingI met a Nigerian man in the pub last night who told me that he is in charge of the 419. I didn’t believe him though; he looked far too rich to be a bus driver.
Continue ReadingI was listening to some loud music when my mum asked me to turn the speakers down. They are now facing the floor.
Continue ReadingI went into the Little Girl’s room at the cinema yesterday. There were no girls, just toilets.
Continue ReadingI took a girl out to dinner tonight and when we’d finished she said, “I’ve had a lovely time, let’s go Dutch.” I replied, “I’ve had a great time to, but I’m going to go French.” She said, “What’s French?” It was then I ran away from the restaurant.
Continue ReadingThe Government is to introduce compulsory microchips for all dogs in England. Morons. My Rover only likes Pedigree Chum.
Continue ReadingApparently I’m an underachiever. I wish I knew what it meant.
Continue ReadingI thought I’d see what all the fuss is about, and try snorting some ‘bath salts’ to get high. All that happened was I got myself kicked out of The Body Shop.
Continue ReadingThe wife was complaining last night that I never treat her, so as soon as she was fast asleep, I painted her in Creosote.
Continue Readingi was doing a crossword and asked my mate what 6 down was- “Combustion is rife”. “Fire” he said. And that misunderstanding is what led to me losing my job as a gunner in the Royal Navy.
Continue ReadingI came home from work today and my wife said, “I think I’ve exceeded my bandwidth.” “Don’t worry love,” I replied, “I’ll buy you a larger skirt tomorrow.”
Continue ReadingMy wife loves her handbags. She’s got loads of them, all “designer”, for every conceivable occasion. But for some reason, she hates me referring to her as “the Bag Lady”.
Continue ReadingI was chatting to my neighbour this morning, and he said i used to have loads of birds flocking into my garden but now i dont, i’ve tried everything to encourage them to come back. He looked puzzeled when i suggested, Have you tried giving away expensive shoes and free samples of Blue Wkd.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s fed up of her hairy legs, so she’s asked me to get her an epilator. I don’t see how someone having a fit is going to help.
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