Category: library

A guy walks into a library and asks for a book about lying. The librarian says “I’m sorry we don’t have any books like that.”

I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on Hitler. Sehe said “Yes, in the far-right corner.”

Sepp Blatter walks in to a bribary…..

A bloke walks into a library and asks for a book on braille and the man behind the counter says “This is a chemist mate”.

A man goes into the library and asks if they have any books on gullibility. The librarian says sure but there’s a fifty quid deposit on them.

I have a dream. A dream that one day, man may once again be able to enter the library without fear of rejection.

Librarian walks into a bar. The barman says, “Why the long face?” Librarian says, “The site’s back up.”

A man once said to me, “I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.” I thought, “That’ll be a turn-up for the books.”

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Do you have any books on the G spot?”. After an extensive search the librarian returns, ” Cant find it.” Man : ” Thats the one!”

A drunk walks into a library and says, “Can I have fish and chips, please?” The woman says, “Sir, this is a library!” The drunk stammers, “Oh, sorry!” He pauses, then whispers, “Can I have fish and chips, please?”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on invisibility. The librarian couldn’t find it.

Alexander McQueen goes to the library and asks for a book on suicide. Must have been a good book.

A German walks into a French library and asks, “Can I borrow a book please?” The librarian replies, “Yes, just take the book and leave us alone. We want no trouble.”

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on pantomimes. The librarian says; “It’s behind you!”

I’ve been trying to hire a librarian. But they’re all fully booked.