Category: joke

I’m not saying my ginger girlfriend needs a trim down below. But, when I whipped off her panties, it resembled the Australian Bush fires from a bird’s eye view.

I don’t like jokes with number punchlines. They’re not four me.

Police think they have found the car that was used in the murder of Milly Dowler in 2002. I wonder if my CDs are still inside?

Hi , my name’s Jack. I’d like to write you an original Joke. But I’m unable to think out of the box.

Been having ‘5-A-Day’ for a while now, and starting to get blisters on my right hand. I don’t feel any healthier?

My wife has completely lost her sense of taste. It’s brilliant. I can put as much chilli powder as I want in her food and the first thing she knows about it is the terrible ring sting the next day.

I’ll never forget my first kiss, although granddad denies it.

Because of the heat this summer, I’ve got a lot of bites on my legs… Maybe I should stop pushing the kids out of the line for the ice cream van.

It’s Bill Withers birthday today. I, for one, hope he has a lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

My wife said she’ll leave if she catches me trying to cheat again, before slamming down the phone and hanging up on me. I said, “Can I ask the audience instead Chris?”

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, “Whoa, I’m way too high.”

I love to see the children running around in the park, shouting. They don’t know I’m firing blanks.

Do you ever get that Sunday night feeling? The feeling of dread and hatred towards everything and anything? I believe the medical term is ‘hungover’…

I was having great fun this weekend, teaching our three year old how to catch. As usual, the wife spoiled it by taking away my medicine ball.

I’ve always had a thing about women in uniform, so I didn’t hesitate when the WPC was being nice to me. “Can I buy you a drink later?” I asked. “I think we should probably wait until you’ve identified your wife’s body,” she replied.