Category: joke

My iTunes just took 12 minutes to start up…Must be a record…I’l Google it. “Quickest opening time for iTunes”

I got in from work to find my wife dressed only in her nightie. In a husky voice, she whispered, “I’m going to bed… I’ve got laryngitis.”

What’s Pink and Hairy and sticks out of your Pyjama’s? Your Head.

Just to remind everyone that the clocks go an hour forward today Don’t lose sleep over it

Following success of SAW VI we bring you NATURAL CAUSES, THE MOVIE

I thought of a Joke about Wind coming into my house through an open window. but I had just posted a joke minutes before. So I saved it as a draught

Man walks into Library and asks for a book on Anti-perspirant. Librarian says ”Sure”

I was in Amsterdam recently and I bought a ‘Puff and sniff scratch card.’ I think I won. But I don’t know because I was stoned for 2 days.

My boss gathered all the team together this morning, “Terrible news I’m afraid,” he said, “Six of our French colleagues died in a helicopter accident last evening.” As we stood there absorbing the gravity of the announcement, I decided to break the silence. “I’ve never trusted those things,” I said. “What.. Helicopters?” someone asked. “No. […]

Typical! Less than a day after I have won the Zimbabwean lottery someone robbed my bank account!

I work at the yellow line factory. It pays well but you can’t park anywhere near it.

Don’t call me in the middle of our text conversation and say, “This will be faster.” There’s no doubt in my mind that it will be faster, possibly even easier, but I had no desire to speak to you. Hence the text.

Introducing the new fragrance from Calven klein, guaranteed to leave women powerless to resist. Rape – for men

those “how to lose 35lbs in 4 weeks” ads are great. not only can you lose weight, but also get your tattoos removed AND become hispanic. brilliant

I’ve had one of those Saniflo toilets installed and I can thoroughly recommend them. The wife isn’t so sure though. She thinks it looks out of place in the dining room.