Category: joke

My Indian neighbour made the most delicious curry… …and tomorrow I’ll have the rest of him in a sandwich.

My mate just gave me a humbug , it was a bitter sweet to swallow.

Stephen Gateley died as a result of a conversation between God and Michael Jackson in heaven. When asked if there was anything he would like in his new pad Jacko replied, “A little boy zone!”

Have you seen the new promotion at Tesco’s, if you buy a box of washing powder you get free Marie Clare. Next thing they will be giving a way a box of tampons if you buy an iron.

what did wayne rooney get on his final exam paper dribble

i just opened the FHM i bought earlier to find that it came with its own free pocket sized Kleenex tissues inside!!… What kind of person do they take me for!! I dont even have a cold

I got booed off stage the other day when I told a joke about blacks being thieves… …People just don’t like observational comedy anymore.

What did the frog do when he broke down on the motorway? He got toad away.

Did you hear about the man with two left feet? He loves wearing flip-flips

Wife and I were about to get into an arguement over what coffee would be suitable for our cafetiere. Luckily we found the Medium Ground.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Getting stung by 2 bees. What is worse than getting stung by 2 bees? 9/11 What is worse than 9/11? Getting stung by 3 bees

Sky News – “Airport Closed After Light Plane Crashes” Can’t have been that light then…

My helium jokes never go down too well.

When Kate Middleton visited Liverpool, she was shown round a bar with no alcohol. She then moved on to see houses with no windows and cars with no wheels.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.