Category: joke

Nothing says “My life is over” like getting your all important 5th and final star on your McDonald’s name tag.

My mate showed me a website to order a MacBook for only twenty quid the other day. Imagine my disappointment when through my door I received a catalogue full of raincoats.

I’ve just started my own online business…………. I steal washing!

Anytime I eat in a restaurant I always leave the same tip on the table. “Lock your doors in future when I’m in. That way I wouldn’t dine and dash so easily,” it says.

After this gets voted down, I’m going to edit in something hilarious and make it look like you didn’t get the joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? If i saw a deer with no eyes, I would probably call it nothing since the poor, disfigured animal would probably in some sort of pain or discomfort and so subsequently, I would call the RSPCA as they would be much better equipped and experienced to […]

How do you know when a paedophile has moved next door to you? The kids stop taking candy from you.

I was walking in town with my wife today. “I’m leaving you because I am sick of you making my life a complete joke” she said to me, as we crossed the road to get to the other side.

Two guys looking in a clothes shop window. One points to a shirt and says, “There’s the one I’d get.” Cyclops then walks round the corner and punches him.

Right , I’m off to the ITV studios . I’m gonna be the first one in line for tomorrow’s one night stand with pixie Lott.

What’s a Sickipedian’s favourite form of transport? A band-wagon.

Breaking news John Terry has been released from police questiong so he can come on as a late sub for Emma West

I hate it when a good joke is ruined by stupid speeling mistakes.

Sometimes I like to wear green trousers and a blue t-shirt and hide on the horizon.

I’ve recently started a really difficult job in the North Pole where I’m having to work my socks off. My feet are freezing.