Category: joke

It seems like perpendicular lines find love the easiest. They’re always just right for each other.

My boss said I shouldn’t have come into work today because I was a bit under the weather. To be fair, I’m airline pilot and should’ve been 16,000ft above it.

Seen today in Dewsbury Moor felt-penned in large letters over a non-functioning toilet bowl somewhat overflowing with solids: “WHO SAYS THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH?”

My 13 year old son decided to get his lip pierced without my permission today. He went behind my back while I was casting my pole.

99% of people in this world are Stupid. Luckily I’m the other 2%.

Today, I told my girlfriend that I often make jokes online at her expense. She said, “That’s alright. I don’t exist anyway.”

will say I’m SO sorry in advance, but I had to……. Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in […]

My motto is ‘Never explain, Never apologize’ I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is.

A Jew, a black man and an alcoholic walk into a bar. The bar tender says, “What’s this… a joke?” When he was beaten up and mugged he realised that it wasn’t a joke, it was a typical night out in Newcastle.

More females to pilot planes?… It’ll never take off.

Doctor says to his patient “I’ve got some good news & some bad news” “Whats the good news?” he asks. “I’ve managed to cure your pessimistic nature” says the doctor. “Thanks” says the patient, before leaving.

How many of you have had that awkward moment when you have to pretend to be amused by your mates ‘Wicked new joke’ that you actually read on Sickipedia over a month ago…?

I just posted a joke and a minute later pressed refresh to see how it was doing. But I was unable to do so as apparently there were 814 people looking at it. Didn’t realise I was so popular.

Just found out why the phone company ‘3’ is called just that. Its the number of Satisfied customers they have.

John, Tom and Jess were on a plane flying across the Pacific Ocean. The plane ran into turbulence and crashed into the sea, leaving them as the only survivors. They were eventually washed up on a tropical island and, after a few months or so, they had an effective food system and water system etc […]