Category: joke

So now Kim-Jong Il, Gadaffi and Bin Laden are now dead. Only 4 more horcruxes to go before Ruport Murdoch can be destroyed!

People have always told me that I shouldn’t make sweeping statements but.. I find it easier to tilt the dustpan when sweeping up, if you tilt the pan back just in time, you’ll catch all the dust.

In hot jokes today by fyffes; Sickipedians, Patiently awaiting the next celebrity death since March 2009. In light of the sudden death of Danny La Rue I would like to update everyone; Sickipedians, patiently awaiting the next celebrity death since March 2009.

This week, I’ve been avoiding clich’s like the plague!

It’s good to see sickipedia is really enforcing the one joke per hour rule. By making sure that it takes over an hour to upload two lines of text.

I have an imaginary dog which is cool because I can see it and no-one else can, bit like the opposite of a guide dog really.

The drunk rushed up the stairs to the fifth floor of a building and threw himself out of a window. Not surprisingly, a crowd gathered around him as he lay on the pavement. A policeman dashed to the spot and knelt beside the man, ‘What happened?’ ‘Don’t ask me,’ said the drunk. ‘I only just […]

My neighbor is blind, and talking to him not so long ago he told me that every now and again he receives cheques for his disability benefits through the post He told me that as standard practice an envelope containing a cheque addressed to a blind person contains a piece of kitchen role, so the […]

When is it okay to spit on EL’s face?

My friend said to me “If you could go back in time and shoot Hitler as a baby, would you?” I replied “No, because as a baby, I probably wasn’t strong enough to carry a gun.”

Our band is called “Zero Memory Laptop” We’ve got no gigs.

I’ve spent most of my life farting into cans but i’m starting to realise I should probably stop as it’s not normal behaviour. Especially since I still haven’t received any royalties from Lynx.

What do you call a black and white bird? Maggie Pie

Little lad asks his grandma how old she is, being a bit of a wise old owl she replies “To find that out sonny, you’ll have to cut me open and count the rings.” Turns out she was only 1.

2 flies playing football in a saucer one says to the other “we better improve by next week cos we’ll be playing in the cup”