Category: joke

My mates tell me I’m not a funny guy. Turns out they’re right.

I ordered “The girls of Ryanair” 2010 cabin crew calendar today. It was advertised on the Ryanair website for a tenner, but after adding the hidden ‘leap year tax’, selecting the ‘in colour’ option, and paying online using a credit card, it ended up costing me almost 150 quid.

You know, a lot of jokes on this site can cause real offence. It’s just not funny. It’s hilarious.

I’ve just developed the superpower to turn invisible when no one is looking at me.

With Sickipedia’s new scoring system you’ve got to think – what’s the point?

Its Christmas and at this time of year we should think about the homeless and those less fortunate…………… Anything to cheer you up while the pubs are closed.

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. “Officer,” he asks, “have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?” “No, I haven’t. What’s the problem?” “The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!” “Does this fellow have […]

The Judge looked directly into my eyes as he began his summing up. “In all my years on the Bench, I can honestly say that I have never had to deal with a more loathsome individual than yourself. You are an habitual liar who thinks nothing of taking advantage of weaker individuals to satisfy their […]

I was enjoying a quiet pint on my own when this guy came over and asked if I fancied a game of pool. “I haven’t played for ages,” I replied, “But, yeah, go on…. why not.” “Great,” he said, as I started to get up, “Can I read your newspaper and have your seat then?”

The Popes right hand man said that landing in Britain was like landing in a 3rd world country. I never knew Bradford had an airport. …… its called leeds Bradford international airport, you fool.

Like most Sickipedians on here, I post the same joke 27 times.

I tried out stand up comedy for the first time last night and, would you believe it, the crowd was on their feet by the end of the night! …By which I mean they all threw their chairs at me.

In America there was a fitness craze that combined a fast walk with a jog. I’m always bemused that “Wogging” never really took off in this country.

“BBC News: UK Rapist in Austraila sent home” His parents are said to be furious and he’s not allowed back to school for two weeks…

I went into greggs the other day and the woman said to me ” you can have two sausge rolls for a pound” ok well I don’t really need two so how much is it for one “75p” well I’ll have the 25p one please.