Category: irony

The definition of irony: Having a Jewish gasman.

My doctor recently diagnosed me with Internet Addiction. Luckily enough I’ve joined 46 online forums to help me overcome my problem.

Watched ‘The Hole 3D’ the other day. I didn’t like it, I got slightly confused, and I’d seen the ending dozens of times in various movies. There was a huge… Oh what’s the word… Gap in the story line.

A wise man once said “Better out than in” Ironically, that man bled to death.

I don’t hate immigrants but if they don’t know that well English, they should go.

I was chatting up a woman in the pub last night. I said, “I wish you were my homework.” She said, “Why because you’d be doing me on the table all night?.” I said, “No because you’re easy, I’d rush through it and it would be very messy.”

Definition of irony. Having no signal in a mobile phone shop.

“There is nothing worse than fading into anonymous obscurity.” – Unknown

My wife thinks I’m idle and I’m not gonna go out of my way to talk to her about it either.

The local sewage works blew up and all the waste scattered over the local swimming baths. Ironically the customers are greeted by a sign which now reads swim in poo.

Ironically, the black box in an aircraft is the only thing that works after a crash.

Top Tip for School Bullies: Pick on a Kid who lives at an Orphanage. What’s the worst he can say? ”I’m gonna get my Nun on you!”

My wife left me because I find absolutely everything ironic. Oh the irony…

Irony. My wife was decapitated in a head-on collision.

Definition of irony: the Scottish wind turbine which exploded in the wind.