Category: irony

A few weeks ago my wife said to me, “Honey, what do you say I serve your favourite meal tonight. You can have a delicious pot roast cooked just the way you like it, with the peas, carrots, and onions on top, some creamy smashed potatoes on the side with gravy, some hot biscuits, and […]

Tried writing with my left hand earlier. It just didn’t feel right.

So in town today, there was a sign in Greggs saying Happy Ramadan… Irony at it’s best.

With red, pouting lips, an enrapturing smile that brought you in, deep blue eyes which transfixed you and a body which looked like that of a goddess, Lucy had a beauty which defied description.

My wife threw the tea towel at me the other day and told me that, seeing as how she’d washed up it was only fair that I did the drying…. …so I washed all of our clothes and threw the iron at her….

Ironic, your more likely to be English if you fail the English exam

My pessimism has never failed me but I’m sure it will one day.

All my friends are the same. They’re so judgemental.

I said to my wife: “You’re like a snowflake” “Aw is that because I’m so beautiful and there’s none other like me?” “No, when you first came along I had fun but after two weeks I hated you”.

Anyone else find it Ironic that Iron is in Irony, especially since thats what my wife refused to do this morning, and consequently thats what gave her the red mark on her face.

I just read an article on the BBC website about how school maths is completely useless. Which is funny, because the article used statistics, which the journalist would have learnt in school.

I kept on getting into trouble at school for handing my homework in late, so I bought a book of excuses. Unfortunately, the dog ate it.

I used to be so insecure in my relationship but after recent events I know for a fact that my wife loves me. Take tonight for example she ran me a lovely deep bath and balanced an electric fire on the taps just in case I got cold……. How thoughtful is that!

I now know why they call it a Dental Practice. They pulled the wrong tooth today.

Isn’t it ironic that marriage is only three letters away from a girls nightmare. Miscarriage