Category: irony

My girlfriend tells me I should stop telling people useless information.

A banker is a person who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

From Facebook: Portugal. Many Who ‘Like’ This Also Like ‘Kidnapping’.

As a hater of racism I wanted to purchase my own ‘Say No To Racism’ banner and when I checked it out they all look the same… Bit like Chinese people.

Become an Archaeologist; Your job lies in ruins.

Manchester City are set to rename their stadium to ‘The Etihad Stadium’, which translates to…. ‘The United Stadium’ Fail.

I was going to make a joke about the coalition, But I did a U-turn and decided that it was unnecessary.

I despise people who fabricate historical facts… So did Winston Churchill’s boyfriend.

I’ve just bought my alzheimers suffering granddad a memory foam mattress for his birthday. Oh the irony.

Drawing on a rubber. The ultimate irony.

I was watching ‘Worlds most dangerous drivers’ yesterday… On my in car TV

My wife just called me at work telling me she could smell gas and what she should do. I told her to light a scented candle. That would solve both of our problems.

Wouldn’t it be quite Ironic if the people counting the postal strike ballot went on on strike?

If TV series ‘Bad Girls’ has taught me anything prisons are exclusively populated by bad actors. Lindsey should be fine.

Does anyone think it’s ironic that the new Lynx Fever advert takes place in Mexico?