Category: irony

Procrastination day has been postponed.

iPhone jokes. For people who can’t afford them.

I’ve just read a report that cardboard packaging made from recycled newsprint can cause cancer. I’m really worried now as for many years I’ve been buying my cigarettes packaged in this stuff.

People call me a cynic, but that’s only because they have ulterior motives

I ordered a book on the internet the other day called “How To Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With Your Neighbours”. Unfortunately, I was out when it was delivered.

How ironic. The moment a girl says “do wathever you want to me” is the exact same moment she makes the only thing I want impossible to do. Rape her.

After a particularly vigorous Physical session with his daughter, Josef Fritzel, panting and exhausted exclaimed to Elizabeth “Whew! Good job, Shall we call it a day?” She responded “i dont know, there’s no windows in here”

Paul McCartney once said that he only writes music about things that are real. Really Paul? And would you say you do this eight days a week?

Many years from now, the troops are probably going to look back on their time in Iraq and wonder why they are still there.

It’s ironic that I had to Google “Bing” to find it.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Bin Laden owned a Porsche 911?

Now we’ll never know if Gazza’s chicken, beer and fishing rods would’ve made a difference.

My wife says I suck at emphasising things ominously It makes me too angry … Almost TOO angry!

I think my efforts to cut down on using cliches are going well. I’m just taking each day as it comes and giving it 110%

If I had a pound for every time somebody called me a scrounger…… I wouldn’t need to scrounge….