Category: internet

I swear that I just saw a tranny on a confused.com advert. I think he/she misunderstood what they were advertising.

I’m a PC and the ‘Delete history” option on Windows 95 was MY idea

I can’t believe they shut down Wikipedia. How else am I going to make up diseases just to get out of work.

I personally think that all girls with any type of STD should be listed on the internet. That way, we know which ones to use condoms for.

The ups and downs of Chatroulette The downs: Men masturbating. The ups: Knowing half of them are on Sickipedia.

I walked in on the wife on the Internet. “You’re like a spider!” I said. “Because I’m always on the web?” she giggled. “No. I want you out of my house as soon as possible.”

The misses always goes on about how she wants to do something exciting like go on safari and experience Africa… …so I sat her in front of the computer, replaced internet explorer, and gave her aids from a dirty needle.

Facebook: The only place I can poke my own Mother and not feel awkward the next morning…

I’m constantly writing the wrong things on the wrong sites. FML

My internet connection was running so slow today. To speed things up, I knocked at my neighbours house and asked if they could place their router a little bit closer to the window.

I don’t know why my eyes hurt. I’ve been up all night googling to find out why.

Dear Internet Service Provider, why when I call your helpline to report a problem with my broadband do I get an automated message giving me details of your website? I’m calling a broadband helpline so it’s a fairly safe bet I can’t get online. P.S. Yes I have already tried turning it off and on […]

I love my ridiculously slow internet. Everyday I’m buffering.

I’ve just started a conga on Twitter. I got 342,053 followers.

At least I’ve had something go down on me, today.