Category: homeless

I’ve decided to become a true humanitarian and support a shelter for the homeless in my neighborhood. It’ll keep the flies away from my house.

Don’t you just hate how over-reactive homeless people are. They make a big-issue about everything!

I was gonna give my change to a homeless guy today, but his sign said “ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU.” So I held onto it, just in case he was right.

I was taking a walk along the street yesterday when I bought a copy of the Big Issue from a bloke. The bloke said, “Its my last copy mate”. I said, “Lucky you! You’ll get home early tonight then”

My mum used to say I’d never amount to anything. If only she could see me now, with my very own bed in the homeless shelter.

There are thousands of starving homeless people on the streets of London, there are also thousands of unwanted stray pets on the streets of London. Does it really take a genius to work out the solution?

There’s an old trampy guy who lives in a battered old shed near me. He’s always smiling. The other day I said to him, “What’s the secret of happiness, mate?” He said, “Throw away all your possessions!” I said, “How can that make you happy?” He said, “I need your telly and video for my […]

At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: “Help, I’m starving.” He can’t be that hungry, he hasn’t even finished his dog.

Recently Ive been doing my bit to help stop the onslaught of global warming. Not because I care about the environment; I just hate the homeless.

Why don’t you see many homeless black guys? Would you smile if you were homeless and black?

We’ve all been told to feel sorry for the homeless, but how can we when they have better Christmas lights than we do

I walked up to a tramp holding out a fiver. As he smiled at me, I said “Got any change?”

Unbelievable. Tories in power for less than half an hour and already a Scottish family is unemployed and homeless.

A homeless guy knocked on my door last night: “Excuse me, do you have any spare food?” “Yeah, do you mind if it’s yesterday’s dinner?” “Not at all.” “Come back tomorrow then.”

Well, didn’t get one trick o’ treater bothering me last night. I think its the one night of the year I appreciate being homeless,