Category: health

How do you kill a fat man? Murder

I went to weight watchers and I lost 30 pounds. Unfortunatley, I only found out when I opened my wallet when I got home.

There is currently one thing which prevents me from going to Fat Fighters. The front door.

I saw a fat kid today… I had to run home to make sure mine hadn’t escaped

I got up this morning and ran around the block 4 times! Then I got tired, so I picked it up and put it back in the toy box!

I was speaking to my blonde sister the other day whilst watching Maury. As we both were watching a morbidly obese woman come onto the set, I said to her ”that fat woman makes me feel like throwing up”. She looked at me disgusted, and yelled ”don’t be racist!” I laughed at her stupidity, then […]

Why did the princess never brush her hair? She had leukaemia.

My Grandma was having a stroke yesterday, using her initiative and thinking of the advert, she mumbled out “Think F.A.S.T” Then hit me in the head with a lamp.

I absolutely REFUSE to swallow my pride. The last thing I need in my diet right now is more empty calories

Jonas Screw, the famous human-drain cleaner who worked for Dynorod for 40 years, was taken to hospital after he nearly drowned when stuck upside down in a manhole. Doctors said he was still critical, but said he would still pull through!

When you get out of bed in the morning, can you count that as a situp?

My gym has the nicest people working there. I drive by and wave every day.

Humans: doing it wrong since Eve went on a health kick.

What do call a chip pan in Glasgow containing no chips? Soup.

I’ve heard exercise kills germs. But how do you get them to exercise?