Category: food and drink

My idea of the perfect date is a woman who pays for dinner without actually showing up at the restaurant.

Carlsberg dont do police line ups… but Stella do!

“How did you find your steak sir?” The waiter asked “Easy, I just lifted up a chip and there it was………………..”

The new McDonalds ad is asking us to get in to the festive spirit this Christmas by buying a chicken burger and a glorified pop tart. Yeah they have really got this Christmas thing spot on.

I was shocked to see Stephen Hawking placing an order in McDonalds earlier. I thought “that must be the first time they’ve served a vegetable here”

I thought I’d found a secret message in my cereal this morning. It said ‘Ooooo’ Apparently they were cheerios.

Tell you what really helps to combat snacking A Big Mac with Super Size fries and drink with 20 Chicken McNuggets as a side with all the sauces and 2 McFlurry’s

I was standing in the pub last night when the barman said, “Johnny, that’s your wife on the phone. She said if you aren’t home in ten minutes, your dinner’s going in the bin.” I replied, “Thank her for cutting out the middle man.”

I have just had a bitter row with the missus. She thinks Tetley’s is better than Boddingtons.

Im on a vodka diet. So far, i’ve lost 3 days, two mates, one dog and my house keys.

I’ve just had one of those horrible ice cream headaches. Brought on by looking at the sheer amount my wife bought for herself.

I’ve just been in McDonald’s and asked for the ‘New Orleans Deluxe’ from the Taste of America menu. They gave me a drink.

BBC News: Turkey battered by severe weather. This could save Bernard Matthews a fortune.

New Twirl bites. Best thing since sliced Twirl.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best when it comes to cooking. But yesterday I decided to rustle something up for the wife when she came in from work. She seemed surprised, then said, ‘are well you did try, but it does look a bit like a dogs dinner’, I was amazed […]