Category: food and drink

McSplurry: The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants

why does sour cream have a use by date?

When I buy chickens I always check the label to make sure they aren’t those “happy” free range ones. I’d like to think I’m doing the chickens I eat a favour.

According to McDonald’s, they spend 16,000 hours a day training their staff. And then they move on to the second half of the alphabet

They’re not blueberries. They’re peas holding their breath.

If it doesn’t say kelloggs on the box… …you are suffering from dyslexia.

“Burger King Bought for 3.6bn” and who said you couldn’t buy into religion.

My girlfriend said baked potatoes would be healthier for me than cakes. We’ll see. I’m just icing the potato now.

“Would you like a table?” “No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please.”

I called the waiter over in the French restaurant last night and said, “I think the frogs legs I ordered are undercooked.” “What makes you say that Sir.” “They’ve jumped onto a plate at the next table.”

Things you will never hear at a McDonald’s restaurant #32: “These fries could use some salt.”

I bought a variety pack of Lads Magazines, I was a little suprised it didn’t warn me on the packaging that it may contain Nuts.

I was just eating a packet of crisps and noticed a message on the back: ‘NOT TO BE SOLD SEPARATELY’ Who in their right mind would want to buy just one crisp?

I had a stroke of luck on the stock exchange yesterday. I managed to swap three Oxo cubes for a jar of Bovril.

Six Packs. There comes a time when you have to choose between the two.